Depression: Maybe I am depressed?

It is not easy.

To ask yourself

the question.

I mean, first of all,

For me it was even a revalation that I was depressed.

I remember, I was just sad and felt horrible. At first I thought I was a psychopath, since I had no emotions. I even read a lot about psychopaths. But then this one evening in 2005 (probably gray outside). I started to watch a movie "Girl Interrupted." And there was this scene that I just felt "frozen".

It was when Susanna Kaysen (Winona Ryder) was talking to the chief therapist of the hospital. Thats when it hit me, at my most inner part of the soul.

And something made me realize that perhaps there was a reason why I felt like a horrible creature. Maybe I was sick or something.

Later on I started to read more about depression. But at first I read about Borderline personality disorder (which the real Susanna Kaysen was diagnose).