As the new year is approaching, I have been dealing with this problem for quite some time now. And I have decided to do something about it. But before I do. I feel I should at least be honest, get out of the closet and tell the truth.
I am not sure how you will react, knowing my secret. Probably you will feel sympathy for me. Or you will not even bother reading my blog anymore. Perhaps you won't even care, you will say "that was the big secret?".
Well before I tell you about it. I want you to know that this is a secret that only a few people know about me. And that I have been hiding from most people, and also from myself. Sort of self denial. It is something I will probably learn that I could have avoided if I would have done something about it years ago. But now, all I have is now.
And I plan to do something about it. I have made a appointment with a doctor, to take care of it.
I bet you are really curious now.... :)
Well... I suppose I should just say it. But keep in mind that this is something difficult for me.
Something that haunts me every day. Okey... okey.. I will tell you...
I have......
a hearing impairment.(!)
Basically it means that my hearing is much worse that "people with normal hearing".
and I can fix it, with a hearing device.
How have I managed it for so long?
Well, I have basically been fooling everyone around me. Specially at work. I basically have to work really hard at the moment, just to focus and analyse what I actually hear, and translate it in my head into something that makes sense.
It is a survivor skill I have learned.
How come I am fixing it now?
Well, because I am tired, I feel lonely in my own world, not really hearing anything. And it is time for me to do something about it. My head hurts from analyzing, I have to work really hard to get work done. And all I need is a small (almost not noticeable ear piece).
I have booked a time for next Monday. To get my ears "tested" so to speak. I feel a lot of fear and terror because of it.
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