Things being equal

So the sun is appearing, and a new year, a new season is upon us. But I kind of feel uneasy.

Something is just not right. I think it is mostly work. But there are other things.

On the bright side. The money is pouring in. Our apartment looks great. And we now have a good media player.

I think that the biggest problem is that it is to cold to go outside for a walk. The weather is cold and depressing. And that doesn't work for me. I need walks near nature. I need the air out my thoughts.

Also, Sara has issues with some of her schoolwork. I wish I could help her. I feel so weak, and incompetent. She can be so stubborn. But I have faith in her. I know she will do fine. I just can't seem to convince her of that fact.

She goes through this hard period, but so do I. I have problems at work. Or not yet, but I know there will be problems. I just don't fit in. And this is not some "just started working at a new place" thing. Because last year I was at 5 different places. This is different.

I'm not saying that the company is bad, or anything like that. I don't believe in good ways or bad ways of doing things. In my opinion its all the same. There are all kinds of problems, in every organisation or relation. I just don't work well there, because I don't have enough free hands, and I hate the office that I sit in.

But it will be a good experience, I'm sure.

At least the money is good, and it is close. All things being equal, whatever happens, it will be a learning experience. The issue is with me. I need to learn to relax, and remember something important. That this job is not what my life revolves around. I don't live for work. I live for Sara, this blog, my Iphone, but I will never live for work. At least not this one.

It is just so hard to remember what is important. I am at least so happy that I now have the Iphone. To remind me, how lucky I am.