The webmaster, the thugs and BNP-Lite

Simon Bennett, the BNP's former and now much-loathed webmaster, has always had a strange and manic desperation for recognition. Several weeks ago, when the British Freedom Party (or BNP-Lite) had only existed for about twenty minutes and had less than ten members, he appeared on TV as a representative of the BFP pontificating about whatever the current disaster was in the British National Party, which he had only recently left. As is common with many on the far-right, his complete devotion to his former party and its crooked leader turned to an all-consuming hatred almost overnight, and he found himself unable even to mention the BNP without exploding in all directions in his fury.

Having completely fallen out with the BNP, he then joined the BFP, a tiny far-right grouplet made up solely of BNP rejects and swivel-eyed lunatics like Lee Barnes, the BNP's former legal officer and resident fruitloop.

The BFP is a curious entity: it has done nothing of any consequence, has no real policies, has stood in no elections and has a membership that currently stands at around thirty, all of whom are committed losers, yet it seems to be sneaking around behind everyone's backs, trying quietly to gain some indefinable power from somewhere. Anywhere, in fact. And now it has bumped up against (and linked up with, if our correspondents are correct) the English Defence League.

Bennett's only claim to fame (apart from being a rabid fantasist - remember the BNP's very own James Bond plot?) is that he can put together a website that appears to work relatively well, even though it only runs as fast as Martin Reynolds after a heavy lunch. This talent appears to be much-valued on the far-right and Bennett therefore has a skill that others want to exploit - which one imagines is why the Islamophobic EDL is suddenly interested in Bennett and his little gang, and why Bennett is now running the EDL's website.

Rumour has it that the EDL is planning, in the near future, on moving more into politics and away from incessant street confrontations. The group's leaders can hardly have failed to notice that attendance at their numerous rallies is trending downwards (though the Luton demo this coming weekend is expected to be a biggie) and it is said that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon and the other twats who lead the EDL would like to gain some political recognition before it loses any more of its momentum.

Thus, they are seeking advice on how to break into politics. And who are they seeking this advice from? Yes, the barely-visible British Freedom Party, that doesn't have a clue about politics and couldn't break into a wet tissue with a chainsaw.

Political realities aside, the BFP has its own troubles to deal with at the moment in any case, having split over a suggestion that Bennett may have walked off with £752 from one of its bank accounts. One half appears to believe he has already paid the money back while the other seems to think he's nicked it. It's not the first time Bennett has been caught up in money troubles - one of the accusations that followed him after his separation from the BNP was that he had walked off with a pile of money earned by badge sales. In fact, the far-right is and always has been rife with accusations of theft and fraud - all the way from Porky Griffin's spectacularly sticky fingers right down to Yaxley-Lennon and co being accused of diverting money from T-shirt sales.

Missing dosh aside, it's easy to see why the BFP wants to jump on the current EDL bandwagon but it's hard to see what's in it for the EDL apart from the embarrassment of being associated with the likes of Simon Bennett and the BFP. Rumour suggests that the EDL is also involved in talks with another far-right group, the English Democrats. Though just as crap as the BFP, the ED at least have had the experience of standing in the occasional election (readers may recall that in the recent Oldham East and Saddleworth by-election they scooped up a staggering 0.4% of the vote).

Asking the likes of the BFP and the English Democrats for political advice is about as currently sensible and completely pointless as entering Nick Clegg into a popularity contest - and having Simon Bennett involved in anything at all is a disaster waiting to happen.

Hmm, maybe Bennett's lot and the EDL could be a marriage made in heaven, after all - for us, anyway.