Article: Bury the dead

Death...

Life...

Sadness...

How do we handle

the difficult subject of death?

I have been talking with a friend on the subject of death and I gather that death is a heavy issue for everyone.

My sweet grandmother died a few years ago. And we were sort of close.

I have this old memory, if sleeping over at my grand parents house, and I realized the fact that one day they would be dead, and I would be left alone.

I cried and cried, and my grand mother laughed and said that I should not worry because that is not going to happen for a long time.

And now I was at her funeral.

I remember the impact it had on me. First time someone I knew was no longer living. She was just gone. Never gonna talk with her again, never gonna see her smile again.

I didn't cry on the funeral because we had a open casket. I remember thinking that is not my grandmother.

Whatever she was when she was alive, her soul or her spirit, it wasn't there anymore.

My mother and my grandfather still mourn her. They visit her grave every week, give flowers. Rebuild her grave. Light candles at home. Pray for her. They don't have Christmas anymore because they feel it would be wrong.

have you noticed?

- We give more flowers to people that are dead than alive.

- We wear black at funerals.

- We forget the point of a funeral is to close a file.

(because we obviously can't stop remembering them)

Please try to understand...

All I want to say is that, Death happens to us all. That fact alone means that you can't really mourn people, since we are all going that same path.

Like my grandmother, I can't be sad because she died, since she outlived me, she died when she was 70, that is 40 years more than I have at the moment. The point is, it would be crazy to feel that it is sad, since she has sort of "outlived me".

When my parents die, I will be very sad. Obviously, and I will probably have the same reactions. But to be honest, I really hope that I get over it, because grief is a waste. It is pointless. being sad for someone who dies is as pointless as being sad because of the fact that someone will some day die.

Also the whole funeral business... the black... the expensive coffins....

The guilt people feel for something that is normally nobodys fault. EVERYBODY dies... that is not sad, what would be more sad is if someone didn't live.

My grandmother had a amazing life. She struggled, but she had a loving husband, she had 3 kids, and grandchildren. Her life was in no way sad. And neither was her death. She died from cancer, but the reason doesn't matter, because one way or the other, surely we will all share the same faith.

I rather remember spending time with her, I rather remember her for who she was when she was alive. And thinking that she is dead, and no longer with out, does in my opinion NOT honor her life.

ps.

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