The Unexpurgated Bible #58

"For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and

earth pass, every jot and tittle of Michele

Bachmann's life will be fully looked at and

 inspected, till all be fulfilled in November, 2012."

The Unexpurgated Bible #57

Then the day came when Jesus turned wine into water. 

And his parched disciples marvelled at a miracle that

was so utilitarian.

The Unexpurgated Bible #56

And Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, "Behold, Esau my

brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man."  And

Rebekah said unto him, "You may be smooth, my son,

but you ain't none too bright!"

The Unexpurgated Bible #55

And the Serpent said unto Eve, "Sometimes a tongue is just

a tongue!  Why do you always have to drag sex into it?"